its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Panties = found
Randomize
