No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
