He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
