I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
