Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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