Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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