if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Less talking, more tequila
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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