I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
only you would photoshop your dick
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That's how pantless uber rides happen
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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