Rock
Scissors
Fuck
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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