Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
