Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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