shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
