this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
