I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
