Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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