That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
