I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
