Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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