This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
