I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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