loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
