I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize