Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
