There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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