Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
