I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
