I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
