woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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