yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
