Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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