I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
