Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
