its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Im part way to drunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
