I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
