I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
