my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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