You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
