Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
