I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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