You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
