If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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