I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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