I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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