just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
