BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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