he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
