My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
