6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize