I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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