so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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