Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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