Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize