if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
