omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
