honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
