he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
