I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
