too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My ATM looks so different sober.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
