her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize