I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
