I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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