I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
