Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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