i jhust puked up my retainher.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
