Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
