i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
