I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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