somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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