oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
