I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize