super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize