doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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