Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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