sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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