doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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