i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize